Living in Alignment

When Your Life Finally Matches Your Values

4 min read

There's a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from living a life that doesn't quite fit.

You're doing all the "right" things. Following the path you're supposed to follow. Checking the boxes that society, your family, or your past self decided mattered. But somewhere underneath, there's this quiet dissonance—a feeling that something's off, even when everything looks fine on paper.

Maybe it's the job that pays well but drains your soul. The relationship that's comfortable but not connecting. The daily routine that keeps you busy but doesn't make you feel alive. The version of yourself you're performing that's just slightly different from who you actually are.

I spent years like this. Not unhappy, exactly. Just... not quite right. Like I was wearing clothes that were one size too small. They worked, technically. But they never quite felt comfortable.

The thing is, I didn't even realize I was out of alignment until I accidentally stumbled into a moment where everything clicked. A decision I made that felt true. A boundary I set that actually honored what I needed. A choice that came from my real values instead of what I thought I should want.

And suddenly, I understood: alignment isn't about perfection. It's about congruence. It's when your actions match your values, your choices reflect your truth, and your life actually feels like yours.

Once you feel that? Going back to misalignment becomes unbearable.

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What "Align" Really Means

The Align pillar isn't about finding your life's purpose in some grand, cosmic sense. It's not about having it all figured out or living some Instagram-perfect existence where everything aligns perfectly all the time.

Align is about integrity—in the truest sense of the word. It's when the life you're living on the outside matches who you are on the inside.

It's closing the gap between who you pretend to be and who you actually are. Between what you say matters and how you actually spend your time. Between the values you claim and the choices you make.

Alignment looks like:

• Making decisions that feel true, even when they're hard

• Saying no to things that don't serve you, even when they look good on paper

• Honoring what you actually need instead of what you think you should need

• Showing up as yourself instead of performing an acceptable version

• Living by your values instead of just talking about them

It's not about being perfect. It's about being honest. With yourself, first. And then with your life.

Why We Fall Out of Alignment

Here's what happens: life comes at you fast.

You make decisions based on what made sense five years ago. You say yes to opportunities because you're supposed to want them. You build a life around other people's expectations and forget to check if it still fits who you've become.

For many of us, we learned early on that being acceptable was safer than being authentic. That fitting in mattered more than standing out. That doing what you're told is easier than figuring out what you actually want.

So you learn to perform. To adapt. To shape yourself into whatever version gets approval, success, or love. And bit by bit, you lose touch with what actually feels true for you.

Add in fear—fear of disappointing people, fear of making the wrong choice, fear of wanting something different than what you've built—and suddenly, staying misaligned feels easier than the disruption of change.

But here's the cost: you wake up one day and realize you're living someone else's life. Or a past version of your life. Or a life built on "shoulds" instead of actual wants. And that quiet dissonance gets louder until you can't ignore it anymore.

Simple Ways to Find Your Alignment

The path back to alignment isn't about blowing up your life. It's about getting honest and making small, true choices.

Get clear on your actual values. Not what you think they should be. What they actually are. I use The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte to clarify my core desired feelings and values. Spend time identifying your top 5 values, then audit your life: where are you honoring them? Where are you betraying them?

Notice where you're performing. Pay attention to moments when you feel like you're "on." When you're censoring yourself, shaping your words, managing someone's perception of you. Those moments show you where you're out of alignment. You don't have to fix them all immediately—just notice them.

Make one choice from your truth this week. Not a huge life decision. Something small. Say no to something you'd normally say yes to. Speak up when you'd normally stay quiet. Choose what you actually want instead of what's easiest. Each aligned choice builds your alignment muscle.

Create space to hear yourself. You can't align with your truth if you never slow down enough to hear it. I start every morning with my 5-Minute Journal it creates space to check in with myself before the day pulls me in every direction. Morning pages, walks without podcasts, sitting in silence. However you do it, create moments where you can hear your own voice.

Ask better questions. Instead of "What should I do?" ask "What feels true?" Instead of "What will make this work?" ask "Does this align with who I want to be?" The questions you ask yourself shape the answers you find.

Align your environment with your values. You can't live aligned in a space that reflects who you used to be. Clear out what doesn't serve you. Surround yourself with what matters. I keep a vision board in my workspace that reminds me daily what I'm actually working toward. Make your physical space reflect your internal truth.

Be willing to outgrow things. Jobs. Relationships. Habits. Beliefs. Versions of yourself. Alignment requires evolution. What served you five years ago might not serve who you're becoming. That's not failure—that's growth.

A Practice That Keeps Me Aligned

Every month, I do what I call an "alignment audit."

I sit down with my planner and ask myself these questions:

Where did I feel most like myself this month?
Where did I feel most performative or out of integrity?
What do I need to say yes to more?
What do I need to say no to more?
Is how I'm spending my time reflecting what I say matters?

This practice keeps me honest. It shows me when I'm drifting. And it helps me course-correct before the gap between my values and my life gets too wide.

Alignment isn't something you achieve once and maintain forever. It's a continuous practice of checking in and adjusting.

The Truth About Living in Alignment

Alignment isn't comfortable. Not always. Sometimes the most aligned choice is the hardest one.

Leaving the job. Ending the relationship. Admitting you were wrong. Setting the boundary. Disappointing someone. Choosing yourself when it would be easier to keep performing.

But here's what alignment gives you: peace. Not the absence of challenge, but the deep inner knowing that you're living your truth. That your life is actually yours. That when you look in the mirror, you recognize the person looking back.

You don't have to have everything figured out. You don't have to make all the aligned choices perfectly. You just have to keep choosing truth over performance, authenticity over acceptability, your actual values over what you think you should value.

One honest choice at a time.

Because living out of alignment might be easier in the short term. But living in alignment? That's the only way to actually feel at home in your life.

Want to Go Deeper?

If you're ready to get serious about alignment, I can't recommend "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo enough. Yes, it's about organizing, but it's really about alignment—keeping only what sparks joy, releasing what doesn't serve you, and creating a life that reflects your truth. The philosophy extends far beyond your closet.

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